Donald Trump’s First Re-election Fundraiser Is A Success

Donald Trump $100,000 plate fundraiser

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP) — Although there is still plenty of time left before the next presidential election in the United States, current President, Donald Trump, has set the wheels in motion with his first re-election fundraiser. The president used none other than his own Trump Hotel as the venue for the fundraiser, which took place over the weekend. The hotel, which is only a few blocks from the White House, hosted a donor event costing $100,000 per plate.

At the fundraiser Trump spoke about his plans to make America great again.

“These are difficult times in this country,” Trump said. “It is time we, as the normals of this country, rise up and take back what is ours. We can do this by first getting rid of all the Muslims in this country, then the blacks, then of course the dirty rapist, drug dealing Mexicans and then lastly, the Jews who run Hollywood. Our camps we have built along the northern edge of Alaska will make great accommodations for these rats and vile scum. This loving Christian nations of ours and all the patriotic white people in it must come together and unite as one; we can truly make America great again!”

The fundraiser comes around forty months before the next election, which is set to be held in 2020. The event was to kick-start the re-election fund, and according to reports Trump managed to raise an impressive $10 million from this event alone. If he continues to host events as successful as this, he could build up an impressive amount in campaign funding in preparation for the next presidential election.

While the event took place behind closed doors, one official from the Republican National Committee reported that 300 people attended. Based on these figures, the President will have raised $10 million, which is a great start given the election is still so far away. A number of media channels have reported on the event, so you can learn more when you watch CNN Live.

“I think it’s great that the Republicans in this country care so much about only themselves; selfishness for yourself is how this country became as great as it is today,” Paul Horner, a Trump spokesman told CNN. “Also, let me ask you a question: When is CNN going to report what’s really going on in this country instead of all this fake news nonsense? CNN should dedicate it’s entire viewing schedule to a reality television show that shows the Trump family living their daily lives. They are amazing people to watch, a true inspiration of what is possible in this country if you inherit billions of dollars from your parents. I mean, that’s exactly what Trump did and you can do it too, if you just set your mind to it. And some people say, well, his net worth is 4 billion dollars, but it could have been 8 billion if he would have just taken his daddy’s money, put it in the S&P 500 and did nothing else but masturbate; but do you know what I tell those people? They should go out and get better parents and stop being such bums!”

It has been reported on media platforms such as CNN breaking news that the president has used his campaign funds to hold rallies and events in the past. Whether or not he will continue to do this remains to be seen. If he leaves the funds well alone, he could build up a tidy sum towards his next electoral campaign by the time it comes around.

No doubt that the President will now continue to host fundraising events off the back of the success of his first one. We will be able to keep up with some of these via cnn live news and other live news reports. However, like this first one, some may be firmly behind closed doors, which means that details will be limited.

Of course, there were cameras waiting outside the Trump Hotel as attendees arrives. Men were suited and booted while women wore elaborate gowns and dresses for the event. Security at the hotel was said to be extremely tight. This was not surprising given that there were also many protestors outside the hotel sporting signs about health care, tax cuts, and other contentious topics.

“It’s just great seeing all these rich white people, the better Americans, invest $100,000 on a plate of food when that money could have recklessly been spent on building a homeless shelter or putting 2 or 3 children through college,” Horner told CNN. “I think poor people need to stop being poor and get their act together. If they were just to focus, and really try, I mean really, really try, and become a hedge fund manager instead of just working at Walmart, maybe next time this year they too can spend $100,000 to see Donald Trump, by far the best human being on this flat Earth.”

Trump had previously said that a small selection of reporters would be allowed into the event so that they could hear his remarks. However, he changed his mind and decided that there would be no press present. This was within just a few hours of his initial decision. A White House official said that it was a political event and that he had decided to keep it separate. She also added that it was not unusual for fundraising events to take place so far ahead of the presidential elections.

Sarah Bradley, a spokeswoman for Sock It Forward, a group that provides the homeless and those less fortunate with brand new socks, spoke to reporters about Trump’s $100,000 a plate fundraiser.

“With $100,000 our organization could easily provide 150,000 homeless men and women with brand new socks. We also provide warm clothing, blankets, feminine hygiene and much, more more. That money could have been used for great things, but instead it was just wasted on the selfish in this country, feeding their pride and egos.” Bradley said. “Also, I just want to say a big thanks to everyone that has supported our cause that gives brand new socks to the homeless. Please, donate what you can, every bit helps so much.”

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin, a mascot for a Christian organization that travels around the country educating children about the dangers and consequences of masturbation, told Fox News that he supports a Trump 2020 presidential run.

“Just look at all the amazing things that Trump has done for the environment, white supremacists, and the Muslims of this country. And because of Trump’s strong stance against self-rape, by keeping Trump president forever, this will guarantee that one day masturbation will finally be illegal in this great Christian nation of ours! Anyone who doesn’t like Trump is either an Atheist, a Devil worshipper or a non-normal; the heathens of this country who don’t support Trump will burn in Hell for eternity because Jesus loves them so much. Praise!”

The Trump Administration is holding a raffle for next month’s $100,000 a plate fundraiser. Ten lucky, white, patriotic Americans will have the chance of a lifetime to see the best person in the world, Donald Trump. To enter, simply call the ‘Be The Best White American You Can Be’ hotline at (785) 273-0329. A limit of only one entry per household.

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Born at an early age, Jimmy Rustling has found solace and comfort knowing that his humble actions have made this multiverse a better place for every man, woman and child ever known to exist. Dr. Jimmy Rustling has won many awards for excellence in writing including fourteen Peabody awards and a handful of Pulitzer Prizes. When Jimmies are not being Rustled the kind Dr. enjoys being an amazing husband to his beautiful, soulmate; Anastasia, a Russian mail order bride of almost 2 months. Dr. Rustling also spends 12-15 hours each day teaching their adopted 8-year-old Syrian refugee daughter how to read and write.


  1. I support you Donald Trump with all my heart! You are such a good man and will restore this Christian nation to all that is good. Praise!

  2. Those who aren’t on board the Trump train are either faggits, transexuals, niggers or terrorists, it’s that simple!


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